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Home Interesting Facts

Psychologist Explained: How Does a Narcissist React When You Stop Chasing Them

by Joan
April 27, 2023
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how does a narcissist react when you stop chasing them
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When you stop chasing a narcissist, they may initially react with disbelief and try to regain your attention through manipulation and charm. If unsuccessful, they may become angry, aggressive, or indifferent toward you, resorting to psychological tactics like gaslighting or silent treatment to maintain control.

This behavior stems from their deep-seated insecurity and need for validation, which they seek through admiration from others. They may feel threatened and lash out when they sense that admiration is slipping away.

Remember that it is important to prioritize your well-being and not engage with an abusive narcissist. Instead, seek support from a therapist or trusted friends and family to move forward and heal.

Understanding the Narcissist Mindset

The behavior of a narcissist can vary greatly depending on their current state of mind. For example, when narcissists feel someone is no longer giving them the attention and love they deserve, their reaction can be unpredictable. To better understand their mindset, let’s examine what happens when you stop chasing them.

How they view themselves and others

Understanding the Narcissistic Mindset is crucial to creating healthy boundaries and protecting oneself from emotional abuse. Narcissists view themselves as superior to others and do not tolerate criticism or rejection. When a person stops chasing a narcissist, their reaction may vary depending on the severity of their disorder.

They may react by:

1. Becoming distant: The narcissist may pretend not to care and become distant or unresponsive to your attempts to contact them.

2. Seeking attention elsewhere: The narcissist may look for new sources of attention and praise.

3. Lashing out: The narcissist may respond with rage or anger, attacking your character or blaming you for the failed relationship.

Remembering that a healthy relationship involves mutual respect, compromise, and honest communication is important. If a person feels that they are constantly chasing after a partner’s affection, it’s a red flag that something is wrong.

Pro Tip: If you’re dealing with a narcissist, seek the support of a trained mental health professional who can help you create a safety plan and develop coping strategies.

Why they seek attention and admiration

Narcissists seek attention and admiration due to their deep-rooted insecurity and need for validation. They crave constant attention and admiration from others, seeing it as a way to reinforce their self-worth and superiority.

When narcissists no longer receive the desired attention, they may react in several ways, such as becoming angry or hostile, withdrawing, or seeking attention from someone else.

It is crucial to note that a narcissist’s behavior is not your fault or responsibility. However, setting boundaries and detaching yourself from the toxic relationship dynamics is the best way to protect yourself and promote healing.

Pro Tip: If you are dealing with a narcissist, seek professional help to develop coping strategies and learn healthy ways of detachment.

Why they fear abandonment and rejection

Narcissists fear abandonment and rejection due to their fragile self-worth and deep-rooted insecurities. They crave external validation and admiration to feel worthy and superior. Thus, when you stop chasing a narcissist, they may react in various ways, depending on their personality and coping mechanisms.

Some common reactions of a narcissist when you stop chasing them are as follows:

Hoovering or love-bombing

To regain your attention and love

Gaslighting or blame-shifting

To avoid confronting their faults and insecurities

Devaluing or discarding

To protect their ego and sense of control

Revenge-seeking or smear campaigns

To damage your reputation

Recognizing these behaviors and setting firm boundaries with narcissists is essential to protect your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, you can’t change a narcissist, but you can choose to love and prioritize yourself.

How Does a Narcissist React When You Stop Chasing Them

Narcissists are incredibly skilled at manipulating people and situations. When you stop chasing them, they will often become frustrated, often lashing out to regain control of the situation. They may become more aggressive, passive-aggressive, or may even attempt to guilt-trip you into staying.

Look at the psychology behind a true narcissist’s actions when you stop the chase.

The Narcissist’s initial reaction

Narcissists are known for their inflated egos and constant need for validation, attention, and admiration. Hence, when you stop chasing them, their initial reaction will likely be anger, confusion, frustration, and a sense of entitlement.

Narcissists feel entitled to your attention, and when you stop feeding their ego, they may try to lure you back by acting charming, making promises, or using guilt trips to manipulate you.

Alternatively, they may resort to gaslighting, projection or punishing behavior, depending on their narcissist type.

Furthermore, they may also try to provoke a reaction or create drama to regain control over the relationship.

It’s important to remember that narcissists thrive on attention and drama, and your disengagement threatens their power. Therefore, they will do whatever it takes to regain control or punish you for daring to leave.

Pro Tip: To deal with a narcissist, you must understand their tactics, set boundaries, and prioritize self-care.

The Narcissist’s defense mechanisms

One of the most common defense mechanisms displayed by narcissists is their lack of empathy and inability to take responsibility for their actions when rejected or abandoned by others.

Here’s how a narcissist may react when you stop chasing them:

1. They may become enraged or aggressive in getting your attention back.

2. They may belittle you or attempt to gaslight you into believing your decision to stop chasing them is a mistake.

3. They may try to make you feel guilty or ashamed for “abandoning” them, playing on your emotions to get you to return.

It is important to remember that a narcissist’s reactions are not your responsibility, and you have a right to prioritize your own needs and well-being.

The Narcissist’s attempts to regain control

When narcissists feel the loss of control, they attempt to regain it. So if you stop chasing a narcissist, you can expect one of these reactions.

Guilt-Trip – The narcissist will try to make you feel guilty for abandoning them, highlighting how they feel wronged.

Hoover – The narcissist may try to suck you back in, utilizing a favorite old trick to regain control by seducing you again.

Rage – A narcissist might react with verbal or physical aggression when they don’t get their way.

Silent Treatment – The narcissist could give you the silent treatment, creating further agitation and confusion for their benefit.

Remember, these tactics are an attempt by the narcissist to regain control. Do not fall prey to their manipulations and hold your ground.

Dealing with the Narcissist’s Reaction

When someone with a narcissistic personality disorder stops getting the admiration and attention they crave, they often become angry and aggressive. Understanding how to identify and cope with the narcissist’s reaction is key to avoiding further damage to ourselves and our relationships.

This article will dive into the common narcissistic reactions and guide how to handle them.

Setting boundaries and sticking to them

Setting boundaries is a crucial step in dealing with a narcissist and it is essential to stick to them to protect yourself from their toxic behavior. First, however, it is important to be aware of the narcissist’s typical reactions when you stop chasing them.

Gaslighting – The narcissist may attempt to make you doubt your reality and perception, insisting that you are the problem.

Rage – The narcissist may react with anger or fury in response to your boundary-setting, lashing out at you verbally or even physically.

Silent treatment – The narcissist may refuse to communicate with you or give you the cold shoulder in an attempt to punish you.

Hoovering – The narcissist may try to bait you into the relationship by manipulating tactics or making promises to change.

It is important to remember that the narcissist’s reaction is not your responsibility and that you have a right to set boundaries for your well-being. Stick to your boundaries and seek support from trusted friends or a therapist.

Pro tip: If you are dealing with a narcissist, prioritize self-care and surround yourself with positive influences to help counteract their toxic behavior.

Avoiding unnecessary contact

Avoiding unnecessary contact with narcissists is crucial and can help eliminate their negative influence. In response, a narcissist may react in a variety of ways.

Reaction Description

Ignoring: They may ignore your lack of attention and continue to chase you themselves.

Anger: Narcissists may become angry and try to retaliate against you in various ways (passive aggression, verbal abuse, physical aggression, etc.).

Manipulation: They may try to manipulate you by using guilt, blame, or shame to get you to start chasing them again.

It’s important to remember that narcissists are incapable of healthy relationships and that avoidance is often the best strategy for dealing with them. If you feel unable to handle a narcissist, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be beneficial.

Maintaining emotional distance and self-care strategies

Maintaining emotional distance and self-care strategies are crucial to protecting yourself when dealing with a narcissist’s reaction to you stopping to chase them. Narcissists crave attention and control; when they feel like losing it, they can react in various ways.

Some common reactions of a narcissist when you stop chasing them are –

1. They may try to make you jealous by flaunting their new supply or love interest.

2. They might become hostile or angry, using insults, criticism or threats to manipulate you.

3. They may play the victim, making you feel guilty or responsible for their behavior.

To avoid getting sucked into their drama and emotional roller-coaster, it’s important to establish healthy boundaries and stick to them. Practice self-care strategies like exercise, meditation, therapy, or spending time with supportive friends and family. These actions can help you stay centered and keep your emotions under control when dealing with a narcissist’s reaction.

Pro Tip: Remember that you cannot change the narcissist’s behavior. You can only control your reactions and choices.

Seeking Professional Help

If you have been involved in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, knowing how to handle the situation can be difficult. Although trying to end the relationship yourself can be beneficial, it is important to know when to seek professional help.

This section will explore the need for expert intervention and what help is available.

The benefits of therapy

The benefits of therapy range from improving mental health and well-being to developing new coping mechanisms and life skills.

Some of the most significant benefits of therapy include:

Improved mental health: Therapy can help alleviate symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.

Better communication skills: Therapy can help individuals improve their communication skills and build healthier relationships.

Coping mechanisms: Therapy can help individuals develop new coping mechanisms for stress and difficult emotions.

Self-awareness: Therapy can help individuals gain a better understanding of themselves and their motivations.

Personal growth: Therapy can help individuals identify areas for personal growth and work towards achieving their goals.

Seeking professional help from a therapist or psychologist is essential in treating mental health issues such as narcissism, as it is a complex disorder that requires specialized knowledge and expertise to address effectively. With therapy, individuals with narcissistic tendencies can learn to manage their symptoms and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

How therapy can help in dealing with a Narcissist

Seeking therapy from a qualified therapist can help individuals deal with a narcissist more effectively. It provides a safe space to discuss their feelings and experiences, understand the narcissist’s behavior, and develop coping strategies.

A therapist can help people to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and to develop healthy boundaries. In addition, through therapy, individuals can address their co-dependency and self-esteem issues that can arise from dealing with a narcissist.

Narcissists often react negatively when they are no longer the center of attention. For example, they may become aggressive, demeaning, or manipulative to regain control of the situation. A therapist can help individuals navigate this behavior and provide guidance on protecting themselves against emotional and psychological manipulation.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and self-care. Therefore, it’s important to seek the assistance of a qualified mental health professional to provide you with the best support and guidance you need.

Effective communication strategies for therapy sessions

The key to effective communication in therapy sessions involves active listening, empathy, and a willingness to understand and validate the client’s experiences.

Here are some effective strategies for conducting productive therapy sessions:

Active listening: Paying attention to the client’s words, tone, and body language conveys that you are fully present and engaged in the conversation.

Empathy: Acknowledging and validating the client’s emotions and experiences fosters a sense of trust and safety that encourages open and honest communication.

Open-ended questions: Asking open-ended questions allows clients to express themselves freely and explore their feelings and experiences more deeply.

Summarizing and reflecting: Summarizing what the client has said and reflecting their words to them demonstrates understanding and encourages deeper exploration of their experiences.

Setting boundaries: Clear and consistent boundaries around time, topics, and behavior help to establish a safe and respectful space for therapy sessions.

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Joan

Joan

Joan M. Bullard is a working mom who loves cooking and occasionally blogs about it. She has been in the food industry for over 15 years, having worked as a chef in both restaurants and catering companies before deciding to stay at home with her two kids while they were little.

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